Will you be my valentine? 💓 Those are words that I have NEVER heard being said to me, yet desired.

Being young and in school, I always felt forced to take part in the valentines day / (week) festivities. Knowing that valentine’s day is coming up (because I was constantly being reminded by the grade 11 matric committee who walked around selling roses, teddy bears, and chocolate to raise funds) and that I actually might not get something kind of messed me up emotionally.

The crippling thoughts of not being beautiful because I have a gap and am dark skin, or that I am not stylish enough or didn’t dress well enough because I am skinny and…”poor”. These were the thoughts and battles that I had then and still have now.

I have always believed there has always been so much pressure on children/teenagers especially girls at school because if you didn’t get anything were you still even considered human? Never mind pretty or worth talking to.

I mean why do we celebrate saint valentine’s day? Why is it made into such a big deal at schools (okay besides the fact that money needs to be raised)? Are our children prepared for the let down they might get from never being asked by the “love of their lives”?

Saint Valentine’s Day originated as a Western Christian feast day. The Western Christianity is the type of Christianity developed in the areas of former Western Roman Empire.

Valentine’s Day is recognised as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance in many regions around the world.

I have to admit that school was a battlefield when it came to having things that others had, being asked to the dance or getting flowers for your birthday and being the “IT” girl that was the head drum majorettes. Ya’ll had high standards to keep right?

But come Valentines Day if we as girls didn’t get spoilt by him or taken out, or get given 24 stem roses or more(because it had to be bigger than what “Jade” got last year), and he needs to give it to you during the people like in assembly, or any large gathering of the school (because everyone needs to see you receive it).

If none of that happened, to everyone else it would mean I obviously didn’t deserve it or wasn’t a good enough girlfriend, but internally I really wasn’t good enough or worth the effort for someone to buy me something.

Surely at that age, that’s a lot to ask for? Maybe I just feel this way because I never got asked, but it definitely one of the reasons why I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day!

I may have been scared by the fact that I was never asked or given anything until like grade 11 (by my best friend, he felt sorry for me because he actually had a girlfriend)

I began to question my beauty, self-worth and sometimes my identity in Christ, though I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Living that out has deemed to be a challenge. 💔